Chapter Ten

It’s been three days and I’ve been avoiding everyone. Everyone except Sbu, who has been a fantastic husband lately. He has gone out of his way to help me avoid contact with his family; he has been bringing me breakfast in bed, organising all of my meals during the day and in the evening and paying extra attention to me when we were both at the office. Little Lineo never goes to the office or to the farms or the factories. She stays in the palace and goes shopping and returns to the palace. She doesn’t cook. All she does is delegate and tell people what to do and how to do it. I overheard the staff complaining about her and it hasn’t even been a month. Thandeka personally asked Sbu if she could focus only on me, so they had to find a right-hand woman for Lineo. I haven’t met the unlucky girl but having Thandeka to myself has helped me keep a low profile. The last person I want to bump into is Thokozani. She saw me at my worst, no younger sister should ever have to go through that. Granted, she’s my sister-in-law but she and I share quite a special bond and now she has probably lost all respect for me. Thokozani is hard-headed, nobody tells her what to do. She withdrew her university application when her father told her that she had to go to university because she didn’t have a choice. She wanted to prove to him that he couldn’t make her. And she succeeded. So now she lives the life of a princess, loafing around the palace all day. The point is, she expects me to be just as in control of my life as she is of hers and I don’t know how to do that.

“Oh my, how wonderful of you to grace us with your presence, Your Highness.” Lineo says when I sit at the dinner table. I ignore her. I wasn’t aware that the whole family would be at the dinner table this evening. I keep my head down, not saying a word, just waiting for dinner to be served. Thokozani starts tapping her fingernails on the table, I look up and meet her glare. I look away. She is not going to cause a scene at dinner, that is not gracious, it’s not what princesses do. The food makes it to the table eventually and we dig in. I decided to join the family for dinner this evening because I’ve been working on my next step for the past three days.

“I have an announcement to make.” I say once the table has been cleared.

“It cannot possibly be interesting.” Lineo says.

“It has nothing to do with you, so you are more than welcome to leave.” I say.

“So, what is it?” Sbu’s mom asks and I take a deep breath. I already know that they won’t like it but I have to put myself first.

“I will be going to Johannesburg indefinitely.” I say and I see a smile creep up on Thokozani’s face.

“What? Why? And what do you mean indefinitely? You have duties around here.” Sbu’s mom protests.

“I have secured two auditions. The length of my stay will depend on whether or not my auditions go well. If they do, I could be in Johannesburg for roughly 2 months… or more. Depending on how long the shooting takes. And as for the duties, you went and found yourselves a replacement Queen. So, it’s time for her to step up.” I say and Lineo pulls a face at me, as if she’s asking me if I expect her to work. How unimaginable.

“Baby, what about Kayise?” Sbu asks.

“She’s coming with me.” I say, feeling a little hurt that he’s only worried about his daughter and not me.

“We’ll manage well without you.” Sbu’s mom says and I smile. She’s trying to hurt me but she doesn’t know I no longer know how to feel. All I know is how to pretend, so I may as well get paid for it. Lineo’s light skin is turning pink. She cannot believe that she has duties all of a sudden. She thought she was going to come into my kingdom and snap her fingers all day.

“Another thing.” I say. “I am going to re-register at the university in January. I’m going to complete my degree.”

“So, babe, basically you’re telling me that you’re moving back to Jo’burg? Just like that. I don’t understand, did you perhaps forget that you’re the bloody Queen?” he’s raising his voice, he’s so angry that he cannot control himself. But I know he won’t do anything to me because we’re at the dinner table.

“No need to shout, Sbu, she’s right next to you.” Thokozani says, looking at him intently. Sbu and Thokozani have a mini staring contest and Sbu is the first one to break contact.

“I think we should talk in private.” He says, getting up from his seat and proceeding to walk off. When he realises that I’m not following him, he turns around and comes rushing towards me. He pulls my chair out, grabs the back of my neck and pulls me up.

“Hey!” Thokozani shouts. Sbu lets go of my neck but pushes me forward. Great. Now I’m being abused in front of everyone.

“Ma, Baba. You’re just going to let him handle her like that?” I hear Thokozani ask but I don’t hear her parents’ response because I’m being pushed forward like a prisoner. He pushes me into my bedroom and closes the door behind him. I sit on the bed and stare at him as he paces up and down.

“What the hell, Ntando?” he punches the wall several times as he screams. I do my best to remain composed. “I thought we were making progress.”

I just sit there and stare at him. I refuse to speak to an animal.

“When were you going to tell me?” he asks.

“I just did.” I say, as calmly as I can.

“I know what this is…” he says. “You just want to be closer to your little boyfriend. You want to cheat in peace.”

“Stop it, Sbu.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Well, then how do you explain it?” he gets in my face. “How do you explain your failure to speak to me privately before making decisions that affect the both of us?”

Oh, there it is. Now he knows how it feels to be a spectator in your own life. I get up slowly, causing him to stand upright and back up a little. Now, I’m in his face, at eye level.

“You’re a fine one to speak. You cheat on me every single moment you’re with that skinny girl. The one you moved into my bedroom. Which is only one example of a decision you made without me. I’m letting you have the life you so desperately want, but I’m done putting my life on hold for you.” I say, with a certain bravery I didn’t know I had in me. He stares deep into my eyes for a moment, as if he’s searching for something. Then he turns around and walks out of the bedroom. Yikes, he really did a number on that wall.

*****

The Ngubane family ignored me the entire morning, only Thokozani and Muzi helped me with my luggage. Sbu paid extra attention to Lineo, pretending not to hear me when I said my goodbyes. His mom and dad pretended to have something important to talk about in their bedroom. Busi wasn’t there, I think she slept over at her girlfriend’s – if I were her, I would also leave because wow, things got tense here last night. I obviously made use of one of the jets, just because I wanted to see if anyone would protest. Also because I needed pictures for the gram – the people need to know that I’m not making this Queenship thing up. I just landed at the airport and I’m feeding Kayise at the airport restaurant while we wait for Nkosana, who insisted that I shouldn’t get an Uber.

“Hey, hey, so sorry. Hello, baby girl. Come let’s go.” he says when I finally locate him, grabbing my suitcases. “How are you, Sis?”

“I’m fine, thanks. I’m just nervous about these auditions, that’s all.” I say, trying very hard to make sure that Nkosana doesn’t realise that I’m upset again. He did promise to end Sbu if he ever hit me again… which he did.

“So, how did you convince your dad to lend you his car?” I ask him.

“Why do you assume I’m driving my dad’s car?” he laughs.

“Oh please, Nkosana, as if Her Majesty would let you touch any of her cars. You know the only other person who drives Mamkhulu’s cars is your dad.” I say and we laugh. It’s true, Mamkhulu is very strict when it comes to her cars. She even refused to let us use her cars to practice for our drivers’ tests. And she refused to even let us drive to the shops once we had our licences. So, yes, it was much easier to believe that Nkosana was driving one of Bab’omncane’s cars.

“Your chariot awaits, my dear.” He says, stopping next to a matte black Mercedes G-Wagon. I stop in my tracks while he proceeds to put my luggage in the boot. He opens the backseat door and right there in the centre is a car seat.

“Nkosana, whose car is this?” I ask. Did his dad buy a new car since I left? I mean, it’s possible but I wouldn’t have thought he’d buy a G Wagon. Nkosana comes around and opens the passenger door for me before taking Kayise from me and placing her in the car seat at the back.

“It’s mine.” He says and I laugh.

“Oh wait…” I say, realising that he’s not laughing with me. “Oh my word, bro, you got a car?”

“Yep. Just yesterday, uMa bought it for me.” he says. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

Nkosana walks over to his side and hops in. I’m in awe. I’m away for a little while and my younger brother gets a car? I hop in, trying my best to smile and look excited for my brother.

“Now you’re that guy on campus, neh?” I say and he laughs.

“Katie loves it, she says it drives like a dream.” He says almost dreamily. I can’t help but smile at him, he’s so happy. And obviously, as the first born son, he was always going to get a car. Especially because he’s almost done with his degree. Plus, now I don’t need to Uber around Jo’burg anymore – my little bro can drive me around.

Nkosana takes me straight to Sandhurst so I can see the family before heading over to my apartment. Oh, excuse me, townhouse.

“Sanibonani.” I say as I walk into the house with Kayise on my hip. Nkosana comes in behind us. My mother is in the kitchen, as always. She’s such a wife.

“Ntando, put that child down. She can walk, you know?” she says, making her way to the living room. I put Kayise on the floor and she runs to her granny. Well, the closest thing she can do to running. I still have this fear that she’ll fall and hurt herself but apparently, I’m stifling her development so whatever. I make myself comfortable on the couch while my mom fusses and plays with her first grandchild – maybe her only grandchild, if we don’t count Nkosana and Nonhle’s future kids. Nkosana sits next to me but almost immediately leaves the room when his phone rings.

“So, what brings you back to Jo’burg?” she asks, not even looking at me.

“Auditions.” I respond, focusing more of my attention on the TV.

“Oh… oh that’s lovely, Sbu allowed you to come back for that.” she says excitedly. I side-eye her. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t need to be allowed to do anything. Thank you. Besides, I’m also planning on going back to school next year.” I say before returning my attention to the TV. She ignores me and continues playing with Kayise, who is having the time of her life.

“Anyway, Ma, because you’re not paying any attention to me. I’m going to my house.” I say, getting up from the couch.

“Okay but Kayise is staying here, you can fetch her later.” She says. Wow, where has the love gone.

“Nkosana!” I shout as loud as I can. I don’t know where he is but he should still be here because he has to take me home. There’s no response. No movement. Lutho. My mother is now in the kitchen with Kayise propped on the counter while she feeds her yoghurt. I don’t know of a child who is more spoilt. I could go around the house looking for him, but that would take too long. So, I decide to call him. It rings and rings with no answer. I try again.

“Ntando?” he says.

“Where are you?” I ask.

“I’m on campus, having lunch with Katie. What’s up?” he sounds so relaxed about what he has just said.

“Are you not supposed to take me home?” this boy doesn’t respect me, honestly.

“Oh damn, Sis. I thought you’d bond with your mom a little longer. Can’t you Uber? I’ll bring your luggage later.”

“That would be fantastic, Nkosana, except my keys are in you car!” I say, my mom gestures to me not to raise my voice.

“I’m sorry, Sis. Just stay there kancane, I’ll come back for you later. Love you.” And he hangs up. I take a deep breath.

“Ah don’t be upset, he’s just excited about having his own car.” my mom says.

“I’m gonna go lie down.” I say, making my way upstairs. I’m happy that my little brother has a new toy to show off, but he has just deliberately inconvenienced me and I am not okay with that.

*****

Nkosana only picked me up at like 10pm last night and we were further delayed by a lecture from my dad about how he shouldn’t drive so late. It’s all very tiring, I tell you. I didn’t speak to him the entire ride home, even though he bought me ice cream to apologise. I ate my ice cream in silence.

I’ve placed Kayise on the carpet in the living room so she can watch cartoons while I rehearse for my audition tomorrow morning. I must say, being able to wake up, clean the house, give Kayise a bath, make breakfast and still have energy to focus on my career has given me an inexplicable sense of accomplishment. I feel like I can do it all, like I do not need Sbu. I could probably kill it as a single mom. My audition tomorrow is for an upcoming high school drama series. What? I got rid of the baby fat, I could look 16 on screen. Unless Sbu has already given me stress wrinkles. My phone rings suddenly – it’s the gate.

“Hello?” I say.

“Miss Nonhle Zwane is at the gate for you.” The guard says.

“Please let her in.” I say before hanging up. I decide to go outside and wait for her just to make sure her Uber doesn’t stop at the wrong unit. Kayise is still on the carpet. A sleek black BMW Z4 stops outside my unit, the window rolls down and Nonhle sticks her head out.

“Where can I park?” she asks.

“Just park there outside the garage.” I say. It’s not like she’d be parking me in. She parks and hops out of the car. She throws her arms around me.

“How are you, Sis? I missed you so much.” She says melodramatically.

“Oh please, I was here a few days ago. You look good in scrubs.” I say as we walk in. Kayise struggles to her feet when she sees Nonhle, trying to go in for some attention. She already knows that they are all obsessed with her – if only she knew how they reacted when they found out about her.

“And the car?” I ask as I head into the kitchen to get Nonhle something to drink.

“She’s beautiful, neh?” oh she sounds just like Nkosana. No! Don’t tell me…

“Mom bought it for me.” she says and I think I hear her in slow motion. So, they both got cars. Wow, must be nice. Nonhle Zwane, a 19-year-old driving a BMW Z4 – these are rich kid goals, I tell you. I head over to the couch and give her a glass of fruit juice before joining her.

“It really is beautiful, congrats.” I say. “So, you and Nkosana park two cars in Braamfontein and drive 5 minutes to campus everyday?”

“No man,” she laughs. “We don’t live at the flat anymore. Mom gave us the keys to Dad’s old place in Waterfall. She said we could probably do with a little more space and also because she wanted to rent out the flat to other students.”

Mamkhulu, though. I thought that house was for me. Why wasn’t she so generous when I was starting varsity? I mean, I was a good girl in my first year. Why didn’t I get a car and a house?

“What was the occasion, anyway?” I ask.

“Oh I don’t know, really. I mean, she just said because she loves us.” She says. “Anyway, I heard you have a big audition tomorrow so I thought I’d take this little one off your hands so you can prepare.” She says, picking Kayise up and placing her on her lap.

“That’s very kind of you, thank you.” I say.

“Hey, what are Aunties for? Shall I go pack a bag for her?” she asks.

“No, no relax. I’ll do it. Give me a second.” I say, getting up. See, with Nkosana, we can say he earned a new car. He’s almost done with his degree, he hasn’t really been troublesome. But Nonhle is a child. She’s 19. And she got a very expensive car just because Mamkhulu loves her. You know why? Because Nkosana and Nonhle are her children. And even though she claims that we’re all one big, happy family, I will never be a Zwane. Therefore, me being hurt right now is irrational because such things will only be experienced by Mamkhulu’s children. I have to get my career started so I can buy myself a car. Done.

“Here you go. Her medical aid card is also in the bag just in case.” I say, handing her Kayise’s bag packed with two changes of clothing, two jackets, pyjamas, socks, nappies… the works. Nonhle hops up onto her feet, placing Kayise on her hip.

“Say bye-bye, Mommy.” She says and Kayise waves goodbye. I plant a kiss on her forehead.

“Don’t give Aunt Nonhle trouble, okay?” I say before walking them out. I see Nonhle took the car seat from Nkosana’s car. Well, at least they thought of my baby when they got cars. I wave goodbye as she drives out. I hear my phone ringing just as I close the door. Why on earth is Sbu video calling me?

“Sibusiso…” I say as I pick up. I can hear him smiling.

“Hey, Ndlovukazi. I wanted to make sure you guys are safe. Where’s my little princess?” he says.

“Ah your timing sucks, you just missed her. Nonhle literally just left with her. But I can give you a call tomorrow when I pick her up.” I say.

“Yeah that’s cool, I’d like that. But wait, how are you feeling? Ready for the audition?”

Hang on, is Sbu genuinely taking an interest in my work or is he crossing fingers for me to fail so I can go back to the village? Why do I have so many trust issues?

“Yeah I think I’m ready. Just need a little more preparation, a good meal and a good night’s sleep, then I’ll be on top of my game.” I say.

“Well I really hope you do well. Listen, I’ve got to go, I’m glad you got there safely. I’ll call you again later, okay? I love you.” He says and I just smile before hanging up. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I love him, even though I do. Sbu is still a very big part of my life but so is the pain that he has caused me. I’ve forgiven him over and over again but it really is hard to forget, especially because I know that he’s telling me he loves me but every night he goes to bed with another woman. Maybe, if this acting thing doesn’t work out, I should just write a script based on my life. That would sell like hotcakes.

*****

I’ve always imagined that auditions would be so tense. Here I am, hopeful and expectant, surrounded by some really big names in the industry. Some of them are obviously too old for a high school role but they probably stand a better chance of being cast than I do. You know why? Because they’re already established in the industry. People already know what they’re capable of. They already have fans. And me? All I have is a year’s worth of university credits, a failed marriage and a daughter.

“Name please.” A lady with blonde braids says. She is part of the selection committee, probably the producer of the show. Maybe even the creator.

“Ntandokazi Ngubane.” I say. They’re looking at me now, maybe trying to picture me in school uniform. That won’t be hard, like I said, I got my teen body back after Kayise.

“The ring?” she asks and I follow her eyes, she’s looking at my hand.

“Oh this, yeah, I’m married.” I say.

“How old are you?” she asks.

“Almost 21.” In like 6 days, can you believe it. I won’t even have umemulo because I was stupid and naïve. She nods her head.

“Ready when you are.” She says and I take a deep breath before performing my monologue.

The first thing that came to mind after my audition was that I had to fetch Kayise. It’s a good thing that I decided to call Nonhle first because imagine if I had called an Uber to take me all the way to Waterfall while she was at her mother’s house in Bedfordview. That would have been a wasted trip.

“Sanibonani.” I say as I walk into the house. I could hear Kayise laughing from outside, Mamkhulu is tickling her.

“Hey Ntando, how are you?” Bab’omncane says, giving me a hug. “You okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.” I say. I’m lying, I’m not fine because I just took an UberX to this big house in Bedfordview and the first thing I saw upon entrance was that BMW Z4. I am not okay with this. But I’ll just keep it to myself.

“How was the audition?” Mamkhulu asks as Kayise marches to me. I pick her up and put her on my lap.

“I think it went well. We’ll see if they get back to me.” I say.

“Oh, Ntando, your birthday is coming in a few days. I have a surprise for you.” Mamkhulu says.

“Oh?” I say, my hopes skyrocketing irrationally.

“Really, Momo? You’re going to tell her? You were supposed to just give it to her on her birthday.” Bab’omncane says as he hands me a glass of juice. He’s so hospitable.

“Thank you,” I say before turning my attention back to Mamkhulu. “What is it?” I don’t know why I’m so excited. Is it maybe because the other children in this family got cars and so I’m also expecting a car? I mean it’s a fitting gift for a 21st birthday, isn’t it?

“No, I won’t tell you or Trevor will kill me. You just have to wait until Friday.” She says with a smile. Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s good. But I am hoping it’s a car. A Mercedes. Or a Bentley. Even a Lexus will do. My phone rings unexpectedly.

“Hello, Sbu.” I say.

“Hey baby. I’m at the townhouse, where are you?” He says casually. What the hell is he doing in Jo’burg?

“What? Why?” I ask before I can stop myself. He laughs a little.

“I have a surprise for you. Please come.”

I’m quiet for a moment while I consider this. It would be nice to be away from the Zwanes for a while but do I really want to be in Sbu’s presence?

“Okay, I’m on my way.” I say before hanging up. When I lift my eyes, I catch Mamkhulu looking at me expectantly. Jeez, I’m a married woman. Can’t I take a phone call without people sticking their noses in my business.

“Mamkhulu, Bab’omncane, I have to leave now. Sbu is in town. I’ll see you guys.” I say as I get up. My Uber should be here in six minutes.

“Why you didn’t you tell him to come pick you up from here?” Bab’omncane asks and I honestly don’t have an answer for that so I just shrug before making my way upstairs to get Kayise’s stuff. Walking past Nonhle’s room, the slightly open door that leads to Mamkhulu’s study catches my eye and despite my better judgement, I push it open. It’s a typical study with a large oak desk and comfy-looking office chair and a small key that immediately catches my eye. I’m sure Mamkhulu must have forgotten it on the desk. I know the minute I tiptoe into the study that taking that key and figuring out what it opens is a bad idea, but it turns out to be the key to one of the drawers containing a single brown A4 envelope. Inside the envelope are a few pages which have stapled together, the first one reading The Last Will and Testament of Kgomotso Mnguni-Zwane. This should make for a good read. I quickly stuff the envelope into Kayise’s bag before locking the drawer and placing the key back on the desk.

“Let’s go, baby.” I say to Kayise as I hold my hand out for her.

“Say hi to Sbu for us.” Mamkhulu calls out as I walk out of the door. I don’t know what I expect to see but it’s the will of the mighty Kgomotso, it has got to be good.

I walk into the house to find Sbu lounging on the couch, watching soccer and drinking beer. And he’s supposed to be a king, mxm.

“Hi Sbu.” I say, closing the door behind me. He immediately gets up from the couch and comes towards Kayise and me. Kayise, unlike me, cannot wait to jump into his arms and he makes the most of the attention.

“Sthandwa sam.” He eventually says to me.

“What brings you to Jo’burg?” I move towards the couch and make myself comfortable.

“We’re having a celebration for your birthday on Friday… you know, since you’re the Queen. I know you won’t come with me but can I at least take Kayise?” he says. This is almost cute. I stare at him for a while, processing what he has just said to me.

“Who’s going to look after my baby?” I ask. It’s a genuine question. Surely, nobody expects me to believe that Lineo is going to take care of my daughter.

“Thandeka… I know you don’t trust Lineo so Thandeka will take care of Kayise.” He says. “Also, I think it would be great for you to celebrate your 21st birthday without having to worry about a baby.”

He’s not wrong, that way I can get drunk in peace after Mamkhulu hands me the keys to my new car. I hope it’s a Mercedes, the only car fit for a queen.

“Ntando?” Sbu snatches me from my thoughts.

“What? Oh yeah, I’ll go pack her stuff.” I say as I make my way upstairs. Instead of sorting Kayise’s clothes, I immediately take that brown envelope out of the bag and open it. The first few paragraphs are a love letter to my dad and Nkosana’s dad respectively, followed by another love letter to Nkosana and Nonhle and only then does it get interesting. Wait, no love letter for me? Anyway…

I appoint Trevor Zwane and Gontse Molemo-Ericson as joint executors of my estate.

To my husband, S’phiwe Mnguni, I leave the family taxi business.

To my dear husband, Trevor Zwane, I leave all of my businesses. Namely, the Pearl Manor Hotel, Molemo Mansions, Molemo Manor and Molemo-Zwane Estate. Trevor will be in charge of running and all decision-making where the businesses are concerned. In addition to this, Trevor is also entitled to our home in Bedfordview, all of my cars and 50% of my monetary assets.

To my dear sister, Gontse Molemo-Ericson, I leave 10% of my monetary assets as well as all of my clothes, shoes and jewellery.

To my son, Nkosana Zwane, and my daughter, Nonhle Zwane, I leave the remaining 40% of my monetary assets which should be split equally between the two of them.

My monetary assets do not include any trust funds that I have set up prior to my death.

Lastly, I want my entire family to know that I love them all dearly.

Sincerely, Kgomotso Mnguni-Zwane.

“Is that it?” I say out loud, staring blankly at the last page.

“Is everything okay?” Sbu asks, startling me. “I’m sorry, I just came to check on you because you were taking so long.”

“I’m… fine…” I say as I get up and start sorting Kayise’s clothes. I can feel Sbu’s eyes on me the entire time but I don’t face him until I’m done and I give the bag to him. He stares at me like he wants to say something so I beat him to it.

“I’d like to take a bath. You’ll let yourself out.” I say before giving Kayise a kiss and walking out of the bedroom. Eventually, I hear footsteps going down the stairs and then the door opening and closing. Of all the things that go on in this messed up family of ours, this is by far the most messed up. I cannot believe that Mamkhulu excluded me from her will. No, actually, I can believe that. What I can’t believe is how she’s managed to pretend that she loves me like her own for the past 21 years. I know not of anything more cruel.