Chapter Sixteen

S’phiwe’s Final Words

My dear Kgomotso

Despite everything that may have transpired in our lives, you are, always have been and always will be the love of my life. There has never been another woman whom I have loved more than you or even the way that I have loved you. To this day, I remember how difficult it was for you when I brought Nokulunga into our lives. And when Ntandokazi was born. But what I never told you was how grateful I was for how you accommodated them, took care of them. You raised Ntandokazi and loved her like she was your own. Not many women can do that. Especially not women who have another husband and children of their own. Thank you, MaMolemo. I don’t think I said that enough. But thank you. I appreciate you. Tell Trevor I said congratulations, he finally gets to have you to himself. I hope he knows how lucky he is. I know that even though you are the love of my life, he is the love of your life. I tried to never compete, it would’ve been a losing battle anyway. But I can rest easily knowing that he truly loves you and he’ll take care of you.

Send my love to Gontse and Malcolm and Nkosana and Nonhle.

Please continue to look out for Ntandokazi. She and her mother are two sides of the same coin, they will always be butting heads. But I know she looks up to you and she listens to you.

I wish you nothing but happiness, MaMolemo. I love you. Always and forever. Not even death can do us part. And regardless of everything, uyohlezi uyintandokazi yami.

Yours Truly, S’phiwe.

*****

Dear Nokulunga

MaNdlovu wami omuhle. You were so misunderstood, so troubled and yet, I grew to love you. I could never thank you enough for the gift that you gave me. You saved my marriage and you gave me a beautiful, strong and intelligent daughter. You two fight a lot but it’s only because you’re so alike. And the one trait that Ntando definitely gets from you is her constant need to compete with Kgomotso. I need you to let that go, MaNdlovu. I have left you with more than enough money and assets to sustain yourself. You no longer have to rely on Kgomotso for anything. But please, try to be civil. I am no longer around, therefore, there is no longer a reason to compete. Do no isolate yourself. Continue to interact with Kgomotso and Trevor and the kids. Do not wallow in self-pity. Live your life, MaNdlovu. Remarry, if you must. Repurpose yourself. You have dedicated many years to me and Ntando. Now it’s your time.

Take care of yourself. I love you.

Yours Truly, S’phiwe.

*****

Ntandokazi ka baba

Indlovukazi yaseMabomvini

I am extremely proud of you, my baby. Not many men can say their daughters are Queens. You are my pride and joy. I am sorry for the times when I have been too hard on you. For the times when I raised my voice and when I pushed you too far. I don’t need to tell you how disappointed I was when you fell pregnant and dropped out of varsity. Your whole life, I’ve been waiting to see you flourish and become the world’s greatest actress. To see you grace the world’s theatre stages with your talent and your finesse. Life gave you a different basket of lemons, I suppose, and you’re doing a very good job with the lemonade you’re making. I may not have said it to you, but I have forgiven you. You are not the family disappointment. In fact, I can’t stop bragging about you. I hope that your husband feels the same way. I hope that he knows just how lucky he is to have you in his life. You are a gem. You are phenomenal. And you are deserving of a beautiful life. I hope he knows that. But more importantly, I hope you know that well enough to know when it’s no longer being served. You may have attained the title of queen through Sibusiso, but that doesn’t mean your worth diminishes without him. Take care of Kayise. She reminds me of you with her dark skin and big eyes and thick hair.

Also, please make peace with your mother. You and her are more alike than you’d both like to admit. But she’s your mother. And in her own crazy, competitive way, she loves you. While you’re taking care of your kingdom, remember to take care of her too.

I want you to remember that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will love you always, even beyond the grave.

Take care of yourself. I’m rooting for you. Phela usunedlozi elikhuthele.

Lots of love, Dad.