Chapter Five

I wasn’t able to speak to Nkosana last night when Mamkhulu dropped us off at our flat and this morning he rushed out. He doesn’t even have a morning class so I don’t understand where he’s rushing off to.

“Hungry?” Thuto asks me, handing me a boerewors roll. I swear Thuto has had one of these every other day for the past year.

“I’m starving, thank you.” I say, already taking a big bite.

“Yeah, we have to keep you well-fed. You’re eating for two, after all.” He says and I almost choke. What the hell? Who told them. The rest of the squad doesn’t look surprised by this and judging by how casually Thuto said it, it’s clearly not news to them.

“Oh, we know honey. We just don’t know why you didn’t tell us.” Litha says, not even looking at me.

“How did you find out?” I ask, dying of embarrassment.

“Katie told us. You don’t have to embarrassed, I think you’ll make a great mom.” Thuto says, placing his hand on my knee. He’s so sweet. Seriously, girls need to have at least one male friend who is as kind and caring as Thuto.

“Okay, you two. Get a room.” Litha says and everyone is laughing at us. What are they even talking about?

“How did you find out, Katie?” I ask casually.

“Oh Nkosana told me.” She says and my eyebrows immediately shoot up. Nkosana? I think my reaction makes her realise she’s said too much. Her face literally turns red like an over-ripe tomato.

“He told me in passing.” She says quickly but the look that Litha gives her tells me there’s more to this story. I won’t ask. The poor girl is already embarrassed for some reason. She and I will pick this up later. For now, we have class.

It’s just after 8pm and I’m going through a script when Nkosana walks in. Literally, he’s only coming home now.

“Hey.” He says, walking slowly towards his bedroom.

“Somebody’s serious about school.” I say, not taking my eyes off the script in front of me. I need to bring my A-game, we have rehearsals tomorrow and my term mark depends on this performance. I need to get as many marks from performances before I start showing.

“What?” he stops in his tracks. I look up at him and see the snaaks look he’s giving me.

“Haibo, I’m just saying since you left early in the morning and you’re only coming home now. You were at the library, weren’t you?”

He turns around and joins me on the couch. He just sits there staring at his hands so I turn my attention back to my script. I don’t have the leading role but I’ve got a pretty decent one and I need to kill it in tomorrow’s rehearsal, our opening night is in two weeks. Seriously, our lecturer does not play.

“Your dinner is in the microwave, I thought you might be hungry. I made beef stew.” I say, still not looking at him. I don’t understand what his mood is all about but I’m not going to beg him to open up to me. We usually do that automatically. He gets up, heads to the kitchen and returns with a plate and a spoon in hand. I’m still going through my script. Last year, Nkosana used to run lines with me before a performance but I’m not so sure now is a good time to ask for his help.

“Ntando…” he says. Okay, now we’re going to talk. I put the script away and turn to face him. “Are you sure?”

“Sure?”

“About marrying Sbu. I mean, yes, you’re pregnant with his baby but that doesn’t mean you have to marry him.”

I don’t respond, I just give him a look that tells him to elaborate on his point.

“I don’t think he’s right for you, that’s all.” He shoves a spoonful in his mouth.

“Isn’t he your friend?”

“Yes, but him being my friend and him being your husband are two very different things. Sis, I just think he’s shady. If he could lie about his entire identity, what more is he capable of?”

I don’t like what Nkosana is saying and I think it shows on my face. But I cannot lie, he’s got me thinking. First Sbu’s dad and now this. What does everyone have against Sbu? He has really been nothing but loving and kind towards me since the day I met him. I think Nkosana can see that I’m done with this conversation because he takes my script from the coffee table and starts paging.

“Hmm, you’ve got lots of lines… what is Lulu’s character all about?” he asks and my excitement immediately kicks in. I love it when we bond over my acting.

“Lulu is a struggling musician. She eventually ends up meeting the main character, Isaac, who is a big shot music producer. But Lulu falls in love with him and his wife kills her.” I say, really explaining an entire play in a nutshell. He looks very interested as he reads the lines, though.

“And who is playing Isaac?” he asks.

“Thuto.” I say and Nkosana bursts into laughter. Am I missing something here?

“Have you guys rehearsed this yet? I’m asking because I can see there’s a kissing scene here. Do you guys actually kiss? Isn’t that weird for your friendship?” he asks in between giggles. Really? That’s what he’s worried about?

“No, our lecturer doesn’t let us rehearse contact scenes like kissing and fights and things like that. He says it’ll be more natural if we only do it once during the actual performance.” I say, stealing a piece of beef from his plate.

“So, you guys are gonna kiss?” he laughs even harder. That’s it, my little brother is an idiot.

“Mxm, shut up.” I say and he only laughs harder. I give up. Nkosana is a monkey and I need to get some sleep so I leave him on the couch choking on his own spit. He’s full of nonsense but I love him. I’ve probably said this before, but I couldn’t have asked for a better step-brother.

*****

Friday, 13 April 2040. I am two months pregnant and officially engaged. Thank goodness, I’m not showing yet because my character wears a really tight, skimpy dress and that would’ve just been awkward with a baby bump. My entire family is in the audience, including Sbu. He’s very excited because the lobola has been paid. He even bought me an engagement ring and everything. The lobola negotiations ran smoothly last Saturday even though I thought my father and my uncles were asking for too much. But then again, Sbu is royalty so it’s all good. The performance is going great now and we’re halfway through it. I’m backstage preparing for my next scene.

“Are you ready for this?” Katie, who is here for moral support because we’re not in the same production, says. I flash her a quick smile, I cannot risk getting out of character.

“Lulu on stage in 10 seconds.” Our stage director says and I start counting in my head before making my entrance.

“Ah, there’s my shining star. Lulu, the next big thing. Did you see your sales records?” Thuto says in his Model C accent, arms wide open for a hug. I fit comfortably in his arms.

“Isaac. I couldn’t have made it so big if it hadn’t been for you. Really, you’re the talented one here.” I say. We lock eyes, centre stage. He takes both of my hands in his.

“Now that I’ve turned you into a star, Lulu, can I take you out for dinner?” he says. I’ve always thought this line was cheesy but hey, I’m just an actress.

“Isaac, you said we should keep things professional. Besides, you’re married.” I say, sounding like a damsel in distress, avoiding eye contact with Isaac but maintaining it with the audience even though my hands are still in his. He slowly turns my head so that I’m facing him. I’m so close to Thuto right now that I’m only just noticing how good-looking he is.

“I need you.” He says before gently placing his left hand on my lower back and pulling me closer. He then uses his right hand to pull my chin closer to his face so that our lips lock. There it is, the kiss. The one we have never rehearsed. We’re supposed to kiss for ten seconds but I’ve already lost count. His left hand has slipped down from my lower back to my butt and his grip has tightened, it sends shivers down my spine. Eventually the lights go off and we hear the curtains close – end scene. Only then does he let go of me. It takes me a while to regain consciousness and get back to the hustle that is going on backstage. Right, I need a costume change. I don’t say anything to Thuto, I don’t even look at him. I just rush off to the dressing room before my final scene. The scene in which I get killed because of that kiss. I have changed into my jogging outfit, ready for my final scene. I had to beg the director let me wear a full tank top instead of just a sports bra because I wasn’t sure if I’d be showing yet. Rather safe than sorry. Thuto and his on-stage wife are wrapping up the current scene. In this scene, Isaac’s wife confronts him about the video of the two of us kissing. Isaac storms out and his wife has a soliloquy in which she plots her revenge.

“Lulu on stage in 10 seconds.” And so the countdown begins in my head. The curtain closes and I get ready. It opens again after 3 seconds and I start jogging. It all happens really fast, it’s supposed to be a drive-by shooting but there’s only so much you can do on a stage. We have a car prop on the left side of the stage and the lights only shine on it when the shots are fired. Bang! Bang! And I collapse with greatest dramatic flair ever witnessed. The lights turn red for 5 seconds while Isaac’s wife makes her way to make sure Lulu is really dead. Then they turn blue, cue the police sirens. I’m just laying still, centre stage, where I belong. I have just pulled off the performance of my life. It can only get better from here. Isaac’s wife is arrested while her husband weeps for Lulu. The lights turn black. Curtains close. It’s a wrap!

“Thank you for coming, babes.” I say to Katie, giving her a hug as we all exit the theatre. There’s quite a breeze tonight and I immediately regret not bringing a jacket with me.

“You were fantastic. You were born for the stage, Ntando.” She says.

“Definitely. My baby girl is a star.” That would be my mother. I wonder why they took so long leaving the theatre. Sbu appears from behind them, he’s busy on his phone though. All four of my parents take turns in giving me a hug and Mamkhulu hands me a bouquey multicoloured of roses.

“You were great, baby girl. Well done.” She says and I can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, and I mean talk about chemistry!” Nkosana says and everyone laughs.

“Hey, this acting thing Ntando… was that boy supposed to kiss you like that?” my dad asks, seemingly very uncomfortable.

“I think Thuto has always wanted to kiss her, he just used the play as an excuse.” Nkosana says.

“That’s not true, Thuto and I are just friends.” I say, trying very hard to be convincing. I must admit, that kiss was a little extra. Especially the butt gripping. And obviously, I wasn’t going to stop him because we were on stage, in the moment. The script does say that we have to kiss, it doesn’t say how.

“Okay, let’s argue about this some other time. It’s late and I think Ntando needs to eat and sleep, angithi?” Mamkhulu says. They say their goodbyes after offering to drop us off at the flat. I insisted on leaving with Sbu. I mean, my fiancé has a car. He can take me home. I thought Nkosana would also come with us but he said he’d take an Uber with Katie just to make sure she gets home safely. I swear, these two are not over each other but anyway. The ride to the flat is a short one but it’s quite tense, Sbu has not said anything to me the entire time. Not even a ‘well done, babe’ or ‘that wasn’t a great performance’… I’ll take anything really. We walk in and Sbu makes himself comfortable on the couch while I go and warm up the food I prepared earlier on. I knew we’d be back late and I knew I didn’t want to eat take outs, so I made pap and wors before I left. I dish up for the both of us – Nkosana will dish up for himself when he returns.

“Here you go.” I say, handing him his plate before joining him on the couch. He just eats, not saying a word. We sit in silence for about 15 minutes while we eat.

“So, I was thinking about the 28th.” He says eventually.

“What’s happening on the 28th?” I ask.

“Our wedding. We’ll have umembeso on the morning of the 28th and then you’ll fly to KZN for umabo on the 29th.” He says. He’s not even asking.

“Baby, so soon? I still have school for the rest of the month. Can’t we have the wedding during the June holidays?” I ask and he gives me a flat look.

“No. We’ll go to Home Affairs on the 27th. I’ve already made the booking.” He says and I am at a loss for words. What is even happening here? I sit there staring at him while he stuffs his face for a moment before deciding that it would be better if I changed the subject, for my own sanity.

“So, baby, what did you think about the performance?” I ask, excitedly. He doesn’t look up from his plate, nor does his body relax.

“It was okay. Although, I must say, I can understand why you didn’t get the leading role.” He says. Excuse me? What is that even supposed to mean?

“I didn’t get the leading role because it was for a male… hence, Thuto was the main character.” I say, defensively. Is this guy knocking my hustle?

“Oh and don’t get me started on that pervert.” He says as he gets up to put his plate in the sink. Okay, maybe the kiss didn’t sit well with him. Maybe that’s why he’s been in a mood all evening, I can allow that. He returns from the kitchen with a smile on his face. Okay… he takes both of my hands in his, pulls me up to my feet and wraps his arms around my waist. This is nice, he makes me blush every time we’re this close. He kisses me on the forehead.

“Besides, my love, you don’t have to worry about whether your performance was good or not because it was your last one.” He says with a smile on his face before proceeding to kiss my hands. What is Sbu on about today? I pull my hands from his grip and he seems shocked by my reaction.

“This was not my last performance. I am an actress.” I say.

“I know you are. You’re an actress at heart.” He says. Why the hell is he patronising me?

“No, I am a real actress.”

“I don’t know why you’re getting upset. You’re marrying the heir to the throne, that means you’ll have royal duties to fulfil once we’re married. I can’t have you running up and down a stage, that’s ridiculous. And you’re not very good at it, either.” He says casually. My heart is bleeding right now.

“Sibusiso…” is all I manage to say, overcome by disbelief.

“Hey, don’t be offended. It’s called constructive criticism. Besides, what other role could possibly be better than that of a Queen? No theatre is ever going to give you the life that I will.” He plants a kiss on my quivering lips before grabbing his car keys.

“I’m gonna go now,” he says. “I’ll text you when I get to the hotel. I love you.” He leaves. What the hell just happened? I’m going to choose to believe that he’s acting up because he’s still upset about the kiss. It’ll blow over in a few days and he’ll realise that we don’t need to get married on the 27th and that my career doesn’t have to end. He’ll also realise that he was wrong for saying I’m bad actress and he’ll apologise. Yes, that’s the Sbu that I know and love. He’s just upset… it’s temporary.

*****

Friday, 27th April 2040. We’ve just come back from Home Affairs where our marriage was officiated. Sbu did not change his mind about the wedding date, he even went as far as communicating with my father himself. He also wasn’t joking about me letting go of my career before it’s even begun. But I think he’s right. I’ve come to terms with it. We’re all at the house in Sandhurst because this is where umembeso will take place tomorrow, it is my father’s house after all. My mother was suddenly so excited that she wanted to host Sbu’s family for lunch today after the signing but I used my pregnancy and my flawless acting skills to convince her not to. I mean, we have a ceremony tomorrow and on Sunday. It’s enough. This house is so full, what with all of the relatives who came from KwaMashu, so I decide to stay in my room. I think that’s what I’m supposed to do anyway but nobody said anything. There’s a knock on the door and in comes Mamkhulu with two glasses of juices.

“Can we talk?” she asks as she sits next to me on the bed, handing me one of the glasses. “Are you excited?”

“I am.” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can manage. Honestly, I haven’t recovered from the conversation I had with Sbu two weeks ago after the performance. I’ve been avoiding him since then. Only speaking for a few minutes over the phone and only when it was absolutely necessary. I also shut him out of the last gynae appointment because I didn’t want to see him. He thinks everything is fine because I told him so, but I’m sad. I’m mourning my career.

“Your father tells me you’re not coming back to Johannesburg after umabo on Sunday.” She says. Mamkhulu will be crushed by my decision – well, Sbu’s decision – to drop out because she pays my fees. And also because Nkosana will have an entire flat to himself.

“Uh, yeah I’m gonna stay that side.” I say.

“Okay and when will you be coming back? You start exams next month, don’t you?”

“I’m not coming back.” I say and her eyes widen. “It’s because after Sbu and I are officially married, his father will step down as King and Sbu will have to take over. That means I’ll be the Queen and I’ll have royal duties to fulfil. I can’t do that if I’m in Jo’burg.”

I realise that I’m rambling because I’m trying to justify this nonsense in my own head but it’s still not working. I need to be convincing enough for Mamkhulu, though, not myself.

“I… I have no words, Ntando.” She says. Well, that doesn’t happen often. Mamkhulu usually has a lot to say, especially when she doesn’t like something.

“Plus, Sbu made me realise that the theatre and all of its demands would be really overwhelming for me with a baby.” I say, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

“Sbu made you realise this? You couldn’t realise for yourself that you grew up in the presence of greatness? A woman who runs multiple successful businesses while raising three children and maintaining two marriages?” she says. She’s talking about herself, I know, and she’s right. Being an actress is a lot of work but it’s nothing that has never been done before. So many women in showbusiness have families and they take good care of their children. I know that, I always have, but I cannot stumble now. I must stand by my husband. I just vowed to honour and obey him like two hours ago.

“I think it’s the best decision for me.” is all I manage to say. She sighs and takes a sip of her juice.

“You are living proof of how a baby can change your life forever.” She says with a half smile. I think she’s really hurt.

“Mamkhulu, I’m sorry for wasting your money. The money you spent on my tertiary education.” I say and she squeezes my hand.

“Hey, none of the money that I have spent on you has gone to waste. You are my child. I may not agree with the decisions you make but you’re still my child.” I swear, in my 19 ½ years of existence, Mamkhulu has never been so mushy. Just then, as I’m having a loving moment with my step-mother, we are interrupted by a knock on the door. She gets up and opens it, revealing a very loud posse of bridesmaids carrying heavy bags.

“Okay, that’s my cue. Hello, girls.” Mamkhulu says, making way for Katie, Litha and Gwen to enter.

“Sawubona, Ma.” They say, including Gwen. Mamkhulu leaves the room and shuts the door behind her. They’re coming with me to Emabomvini for the umabo ceremony on Sunday. I don’t know if Thuto and Thabang are also coming but they said they’d be here tomorrow. Obviously, I couldn’t make them bridesmaids so they’ll just be guests. It’ll be good to see Thuto, he’s been avoiding me for the longest time. I think maybe it’s because of everyone’s reaction to the kiss? But honestly, if he’s going to become an actor then he needs to toughen up. The afternoon fades away quickly as the girls and I laugh and eat and act the fool. I love these girls. They know how to make me feel better even when they don’t know that I’m not okay. I couldn’t have chosen a better trio to be by my side on my big day.

*****

The festivities began at 8am. Mamkhulu Violet made sure that I was up at 6am and she had my bath water ready for me. Katie and the others were up at 5 along with the old people, so they had already bathed when I woke up. Katie then set about doing everyone’s make-up. Except Nonhle’s because she does her own make-up, she always has and she always will. We then had breakfast before we got dressed while everyone cleaned the house and the décor people were busy setting up the marquee in the backyard. This is the beauty of having a large spacious yard, we can have our events at home. We’re all dressed in our traditional Zulu attire, except Aunt Gontse who is wearing a lovely Sotho dress. I’m wearing a white ballgown with beautiful Zulu beadwork on the top, and a pure white tulle skirt. The beadwork on my dress is red and blue to match the beadwork on my head band, which is also dominantly white. I am a bride after all, I was not going to compromise on my wedding dress. My bridesmaids are dressed in the standard Zulu attire: beaded bras with traditional Zulu skirts and white Converse sneakers. Katie, Litha and Gwen’s bras are beaded mostly with red beads and they’re wearing red skirts. Nonhle, my maid of honour, is wearing a dominantly blue beaded bra with a blue skirt. Needless to say, the colours of the day are blue and red. The ceremony doesn’t take the typical traditional format. I asked for no speeches because I wasn’t too sure of what these people would say, really. So we started off with the giving of gifts. We agreed that Sbu’s family wouldn’t give me my new outfit until Sunday because I wanted to wear my white dress so, instead, they changed my head band for isicholo to symbolise that I am now a married woman. When Sbu’s family was done showering my family with expensive blankets among other gifts, we had the reception in the marquee where a delicious three-course meal was served. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, even Nkosana despite the fact that he was deliberately avoiding Sbu. Sbu and I had a few moments to ourselves before we went off to mingle with the guests. I spot Thuto and Thabang in matching blue Sotho tops and jeans.

“Hello, Makoti. You look stunning.” Thabang says, getting up to give me a hug.

“Thank you, Thabang. Hey, Thuto, how are you?” I say, gesturing for a hug. He slowly gets up and wraps his arms around me. The embrace is tight and heartfelt and I don’t want him to let go.

“Hau, majita.” I hear Sbu saying from behind me and Thuto lets go. Sbu immediately pulls me by the waist and holds me close to him. The male ego is a fragile thing, really.

“Congrats, bro. You got yourself a good one.” Thabang says, shaking Sibusiso’s free hand. Thuto doesn’t say anything, he just goes back to his seat and starts talking to Litha.

“Thanks man. Will you guys be joining us tomorrow?” Sbu asks, I actually wanted to ask that as well.

“Unfortunately not, somebody has to hold the fort while the girls are away. You know, since we still have class on Monday.” He says and Sbu seems to be relieved by this. It’s a pity, I don’t know when I’ll get to see my boys again after today. We’re leaving this evening so I might as well spend as much time with them as I can.

“Hey, is that your little sister there with the blonde wig?” Thabang asks Sbu, pointing at Thokozani. Don’t tell me Thabang is crushing on a 16-year-old.

“Yeah, that’s my sister. Stay away, Thabang, she’s a child.” He says, laughing. Oh he can laugh, that’s good to know. Thabang laughs and shrugs. Sbu whispers in my ear that he’s gonna go mingle with the other guests before leaving me with my friends. I sit on the chair in the middle, the only available chair and join on the conversation. Turns out Thabang had already snuck off to the far end of the yard and made out with Thokozani before she ignored him for the rest of the day. At least he got some action. We eat and drink and talk and laugh and before we know it, the sun is setting and half of the guests have left. My mother comes to our table to tell us that we need to get ready to leave. Thabang asks for a minute while he goes and finds Thokozani, maybe he wants one more kiss for the road? Who knows. While the girls go inside to get their luggage, I walk Thuto to the gate. It’s hard to believe that this yard was overflowing just a few hours ago.

“You look gorgeous, Ntando, really.” he says. We stop at the gate, he’s waiting for Thabang so they can request their Uber and go back to res.

“Thank you. And thank you for coming today, it means a lot.” I say and he flashes me the sexiest smile I’ve seen in a while.

“As long as you’re happy, Ntando, I’ll support you.” He says, looking directly into my eyes. I don’t know what it is about the way he’s looking at me right now but his gaze is electrifying. He licks his lower lip briefly and that alone sends shivers down my spine, much like that kiss we shared on stage.

“Ready to go, boy.” Thabang says, completely ruining this moment. We make frivolous conversation while Thuto organises their ride. It arrives in 5 minutes and they take turns in saying their goodbyes with a hug.

“Now, I know you’re going to be a big shot Queen, but don’t be a stranger okay?” Thabang says. He’s so full of nonsense.

“Never ever!” I say. “Bye guys.” I wave at them and watch as the car drives off.

“Ntandokazi.” Sbu says from behind me. “Let’s go.” I turn around and make my way to the house, the guards close the gate behind me. I find the girls changed and ready with their luggage and mine so all I have to do is change into my sweatpants and tracksuit top. I’m over this wig but it’s okay because my lines are fresh so I still look good without it. There’s a whole convoy of cars driving to O.R Tambo – my family and Sbu’s. When we arrived at the airport, we used a different entrance and only then did we find out that the royal family organised helicopters for us because everyone is too tired to drive from King Shaka to Emabomvini. There are about six helicopters here. Wow, first a convoy on the road and now a convoy in the air. I wonder what they have in store for us. I fell asleep on the flight so I don’t even know how long it took, all I know is that it’s very late when we get off and get into the cars that Sbu’s family organised to take us to the lodge. Obviously, we can’t stay here tonight. We have to come back tomorrow for the ceremony. I’m too tired to engage in any conversation when we get to the lodge so I go straight to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow.

We arrived at the palace at 8am, the festivities were set to begin at 9. We agreed to do things in the morning for the sake of people who had to leave because of work and school. As can be expected, everything is green and white here, including everyone’s attire. Before the gift exchange begins, my bridesmaids and I are given our new attires. Mine is similar to the one I wore yesterday: it’s a ballgown with a white beaded top and a green tulle skirt. My bridesmaids are dressed like Sbu’s sisters who are wearing white tank tops and green Zulu skirts. I’ve never seen Zulu skirts in green before, I suppose their custom made because green is the national colour here. I have a new isicholo as well, one that looks like the one Sbu’s mom is wearing – it’s white with (you guessed it) green beadwork. After my family showers Sbu’s family with gifts, the party moves to the marquee for the reception. As usual, the food is in abundance and it looks like the whole village came to celebrate with us. Again, there were no speeches, but Sbu’s dad said he had an important announcement to make.

“Sanibonani, sizwe saseMabomvini.” He says and his subjects cheer and ululate. “And greetings to my in-laws, the Mnguni-Zwane family.” more cheering and ululating. “Firstly, as the Ngubane family we would like to thank you all for joining us in celebration. A special thanks to everyone who has worked hard to make this event a success. I have served as your King for 27 years now and every time I see just how much of a close-knit community we are, my heart dances with joy. I could not possibly be more proud of this nation. You have watched me raise my children and you have supported me in running this kingdom. It is every father’s dream to witness his offspring rise to glory. Therefore, I stand here today as your King for the very last time. Today is not only a wedding day, it is the day we coronate our new King and Queen.”

What the? I know Sbu said ‘once we get married’ but I didn’t think he meant on the very same day. I know nothing about being a Queen. Some of my family members look traumatised and shocked, some of them are cheering along with the village people. My village people? Too soon? When the cheering dies down, Sbu’s dad gestures to Delani to take over. Delani gestures to Sbu to approach the throne. Yes, a temporary throne was set up near our table, talk about stealing our thunder. Sbu’s dad stands next to the throne as Sbu approaches. Delani makes him say a vow of some sort and the crowd cheers. My head is spinning, this is all happening so fast. Next, Delani gestures for me to approach the throne – Sbu is still standing and his mother gets up from her seat to join her husband. I stand next to Sbu and take a deep breath.

“Do you vow to rule the Kingdom of Emabomvini with dignity and grace, putting the needs of the people first and making all decisions with the people’s interests at heart?” Delani asks me.

“I… I do?” I say, unsure. I wasn’t paying attention when it was Sbu’s turn.

“You’re supposed to say the whole thing.” Sbu whispers.

“Oh.” I gulp. Like I said, nobody prepared me for this moment. “I vow to rule the Kingdom of Emabomvini with dignity and grace, putting the needs of the people first and making all decisions with people’s interests at heart.” More cheering and ululating. Delani takes the royal neckpieces from Sbu’s parents. First, he hands Sbu the king’s neckpiece to put around his neck and then he gives Sbu the Queen’s neckpiece to put around mine. Apparently, these royal jewels are only worn for special occasions.

“Sizwe saseMabomvini, I present to you Sibusiso Ngubane, Inkosi yaseMabomvini.” More cheering. Seriously, I’ve got a headache. “And Ntandokazi Ngubane kaMnguni, Indlovukazi yaseMabomvini.”

My friends seem very excited about this and so does my mother. I suppose it’s nice for her to hear her daughter being referred to as a Queen. My husband and I sit on the throne for the first time and it seems like the party is only just getting started. This has got to be the most surreal moment of my life. I, Ntandokazi Mnguni, am a Queen. Of an entire kingdom. Sbu was right, no theatre role could possibly be better than this.