Chapter Eleven

Friday, 11th October 2041. My 21st birthday. If I had been a good child, I’d probably be at my family home in KwaMashu preparing for my umemulo which would probably be happening tomorrow. I would be so excited, so proud to be welcomed into womanhood. Instead, I spent the day drinking champagne and eating doughnuts. Literally. Nothing else. Been at it since 8am. I have nothing to celebrate, really. I’m a drop-out, my husband is abusive, my auditions didn’t go well… the only good thing in my life is Kayise… and I’m not even a good mom. She’ll probably grow up and live up to her name, love her father more than she loves me. He has more to offer her, anyway. I’m watching Attractions when my phone rings. It’s the gate. Lord knows I am not in the mood for visitors.

“Hello?” I say, against my better judgement.

“Ma’am, your family is here at the gate.” The security guard says.

“Okay, let them in.” I say after a minute of eye-rolling. A few moments later, an entire fleet of cars is all over the front of my unit.

“What nonsense, Ntandokazi?” Mamkhulu says when she walks in and sees the state of the house. It’s not a mess… but it’s not not a mess, either. This woman, she doesn’t even knock. Phela this is my house. The rest of the flock enters – Bab’omncane, the Zwane rich kids, my parents, my friends. Oh great, Thuto gets to see me half-drunk in a penguin onesie and on a sugar high. Sexy!

“Hey guys…” is all I manage to say.

“Yini manje?” my dad asks, holding my champagne bottle in his hand. “At least it’s still heavy, you didn’t drink that much.” He says and I nod. He doesn’t need to know that he’s holding my fifth bottle. The one I only just opened. The one that came after the four that came before it. Wooh, maybe I’m not half-drunk after all. Nkosana, Thuto and Thabang start setting up sound while Nonhle and the girls set up food and snacks. Aunt Gontse walks in last with a three-tier purple cake. Purple?

“Why is it purple?” I realise too late that I actually said that out loud.

“Because… purple is associated with royalty…” Nonhle says from the kitchen and I immediately know it was her idea.

“You didn’t come to the house. I specifically told you that we’d have a birthday celebration at home and you decided not to come. Why would you do that?” Mamkhulu is ranting and I really don’t know what to tell her. Do I tell her that I’m sad because she excluded me from her will? Do I tell her to quit the theatrics and stop pretending that she cares about me because deep down we both know that she’ll never treat me like her own child? Because let’s face it, I’m the product of an arrangement that almost destroyed her perfect marriage. How could she possibly love me?

“Hey! We’re talking to you!” my mom snaps, snatching me from my thoughts.

“I’m sorry.” Is the best I can come up with.

“Okay, okay… you can punish her tomorrow. Sisi wami, we decided since you didn’t come to the party, we’d bring the party to you.” Nkosana says. Mamkhulu rolls her eyes and moves to the kitchen.

“You know… it’s pretty late. You can’t have the music so loud, the neighbours will complain.” I say to Nkosana.

“Ntando, what is the name of this estate?” he asks while he drinks from a Solo cup. I roll my eyes and walk away from him. Yes, Nkosana, we get it. Your mom owns the place. Your mom owns everything. Leave us paupers to worry about how noise levels are affecting our neighbours.

“Happy birthday, beautiful.” Thuto says when I reach him and the rest of the gang. I can’t control the giggling that comes after that. Note to self: two bottles of champagne are better than four.

“Are you okay, Nana?” Litha asks. “How much champagne did you really have?”

I just smile at her. I’m not going to answer that. I answer to no-one. Have people forgotten that I am a Queen? Hence the tasteless purple cake.

“So, why didn’t you show up to your own party?” Litha asks.

“Wasn’t feeling it...” I say before letting out a disgusting belch.

“Hai sies!” Mom says from the other side of the room and I stifle a laugh. “I don’t actually know why we bother with this child.”

“Relax, Nokulunga. It’s her birthday, let her be wild kancane.” I hear Bab’omncane say. I prop myself up on the kitchen counter and take Nkosana’s cup from him. Vodka. I wonder if his parents know that’s what he’s drinking.

“Uzofa drinking from other people’s cups.” Nkosana says as he reaches for another one. I just shrug. I’m obviously horrible company when I’m drunk. Eventually, Nonhle joins us in our little corner. She hands Thuto a cup and he casually drapes his arm around her. What is this? I raise an eyebrow at Thuto and he does his best to avoid eye-contact. I don’t know why, but I find myself searching for Mamkhulu with my eyes. She’s too busy laughing with the other old people.

“What’s this?” I ask eventually, gesturing to Thuto and Nonhle with my index finger.

“Arg you have no idea how annoying these two are.” Nkosana says. “Thuto knows nothing about the bro-code.”

“Nkosana, I keep telling you. The bro-code prohibits me from dating your sister if we’re friends. I’m Ntando’s friend.” Thuto says with the most smug look on his face. I give him an incredulous look.

“Are you?” I ask him and he gasps. “When did this happen, anyway?”

“It’s been two months now.” Nonhle says and I choke. Two months? Excuse me, but was I not doing the nasty with Thuto just a week ago? With Mamkhulu’s knowledge? Meanwhile, he’s being introduced as Nonhle’s boyfriend? What kind of sick game is this boy playing?

“Are you okay?” Nonhle asks. Suddenly, I’m sober. I jump off the counter and walk towards the sliding door that leads to the garden. On my way, I grab Mamkhulu by her arm and pull her outside with me. Bab’omncane and my dad are immediately on my trail, ready to defend their prized possession.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she snaps.

“I could ask you the same thing.” I say.

“Ntando! Who do you think you’re talking to?” My dad says.

“What’s so urgent?” Mamkhulu asks, arms folded across her chest with a look that says ‘I can’t believe you’ve disrespected me so much in front of your friends’. Because anyone who knows the mighty Kgomotso Mnguni-Zwane knows that there isn’t a thing in this world that she cares more about than appearances. But now I can’t bring up the Thuto and Nonhle saga because my dad is here and he doesn’t need to know that I’ve been having an affair. After a moment of awkward silence, Bab’omncane clears his throat.

“I think I know what this is about…” he says and I couldn’t be more confused. Unless… unless Mamkhulu told him about Thuto and me. But I don’t want him to say anything about that, not when my dad is here.

“A few days ago, Ntando called me in the middle of the night asking if I could refer her to – “ he proceeds and I jump in.

“It’s about your will!” I blurt out. No! Bab’omncane is not going to tell everyone that I once contemplated divorcing my husband. If they find out about that, they’ll start asking why and what happened. Then I’ll have to tell them that he hit me, he literally raped me, that I had an affair with Thuto… then that will raise questions about Thuto and Nonhle’s relationship. I can’t. It’s too much of a mess and my heart cannot take it.

“It’s about my what?” Mamkhulu asks in disbelief. I have to weigh all of my secrets now. Is it worse for her to find out that I stole her will or for my dad to find out about my abusive, dysfunctional marriage? Some secrets are worse than others, right? Right?

“Will… you give me my gift?” I say, not really sure where I’m headed but this whole conversation is a lost cause.

“Yoh, S’phiwe I really don’t think she only drank one glass hey.” Mamkhulu says as she turns back into the house. My mother has joined us outside and she and my dad have made themselves comfortable on the garden furniture. Mamkhulu returns with an A4 brown envelope.

“Happy 21st birthday.” She says, handing me the envelope. I’m already disappointed before I even open it. You know why? Because you can’t fit a car in an envelope!

“What is it?” I ask, unable to conceal my disinterest.

“Trevor and I have set up a trust fund for Kayise. So she will be set for life.” She says with broad smile, like she’s proud of herself. I just look at her with hollow eyes and shake my head.

“You’ve lied to my face for 21 years.” I practically spit those words out. By now Nkosana and Nonhle have joined the party and they’re just staring at me with confusion.

“What are you even going on about?” Mamkhulu asks.

“You lied about me being one of your children. You lied about loving me as much as you love these two. It was all a lie!” I’m shaking with anger. Mamkhulu looks at the others for back up but everyone just seems too confused to say anything.

“What could have possibly made you feel this way?” she asks casually, basically rolling her eyes. It’s her tone for me. It’s how she wants to discredit what I’m saying before I even say it. It’s how she doesn’t take me seriously and she’s probably going to go on about how I’ve had too much to drink.

“Oh, Mamkhulu, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you excluded me from your will. Or that you excluded me from your car shopping spree just a few days from my birthday. Lord knows how many other things I’ve been excluded from.” I say and I notice my mother roll her eyes before she gets up and walks back into the house. Is she abandoning me? Mamkhulu narrows her eyes at me, as unapologetic as can be.

“So, you stole my will.” She says.

“You’re missing the point. The point is – “

“I bought cars for Nkosana and Nonhle and not for you. You have cars, Ntando, are you not constantly reminding us that you’re a Queen?” she snaps.

“Those cars aren’t mine! I only have access to them when I’m that side. And I get driven around, doing their bidding. I don’t have a car of my own and if you truly thought of me as your own child, you would know that!” now I’m crying and I don’t know why. I was doing so well. My dad is the next to go back into the house and I already know I’m defeated. I’m here with the Zwane portion of the family, my line of defence has given up on me. Again, Mamkhulu looks at Bab’omncane who only shrugs. I have embarrassed myself enough for one evening, I think.

“Okay, Ntando. Tomorrow morning we’ll sort out the car issue.” She sighs.

“No, you don’t have to. I’m going back to my kingdom tomorrow, I’ll leave you to run yours.” I say before getting back into the house and marching upstairs. I don’t want her pity gift. Everyone gets a car just because but I have to throw tantrums and cry in order to get one? No thanks, miss me multiple times babes.

*****

I am hungover but I am pushing through, packing my bags and getting ready to leave. The jet should be at the airport at 10am, so that gives me three hours to get ready and get out. I don’t know what happened to the party last night but I’m assuming that only my friends left because I can hear the chatter going on downstairs. Nkosana and Nonhle are going on about something. There’s a knock on my door and my mom walks in before I even tell her to.

“You are such a child, a pathetic excuse for a Queen if you ask me.” She says. I just look at her before continuing with my packing. Did anyone ask her vele? And does she really want to compare notes on how to be pathetic because she is case study number 1.

“When are you going to get it into your head that you are not Kgomotso’s child? Let me remind you, Ntando. You are not a Zwane. You are Ntandokazi Mnguni. Mnguni being the broke half of this family. Your father and I are not millionaires but we sure as hell do not deserve the constant reminder from you. Are you not a Queen? Do you not have an entire kingdom? Do you not have access to multiple luxury cars, helicopters and private jets? Why are you whining about a gift from your stepmother? How many girls have your life, Ntando? Hai man, grow up!” she says and then she storms out. Oh, so now she wants to be a mother? Must be nice. I eventually make my way downstairs with my bags. These people. They’ve made breakfast and everything.

“Sanibonani.” I say, fiddling with my phone trying to get an Uber.

“Are you leaving already?” Nonhle asks and I nod. “Can I at least take you to the airport?”

“Uh no. My Uber will be here in 3 minutes.” I say. Only now do I notice that my parents aren’t here. So, my mom came and shouted at me and then they left? Nice.

“No, cancel that ride. I’m taking you to the airport.” Bab’omncane says.

“It’s almost here.” I say but he snatches my phone from my hand and cancels the trip.

“I wasn’t asking.” He says. “Let’s go.” He grabs my suitcase and leads the way.

“So, since you’re leaving us in your apartment, are we going to have to leave it unlocked?” Nkosana asks.

“Nkosana, what is the name of this estate? I’m sure you’ll manage.” I say before walking out. Bab’omncane is waiting for me. I load my smaller bag into the boot and settle in the front seat. The first few minutes are quiet until…

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“With what?”

“Ntandokazi, I’m not playing with you. You are clearly unhappy in your marriage. What is going on?”

“Nothing, Bab’omncane. I’m sorry about that phone call and the fact that I’ve never explained my reasons for calling you in the middle of the night.” I’m looking out through the window. It’s easy for me to avoid eye-contact because he has to keep his eyes on the road. I know he doesn’t believe me and I know he won’t stop.

“You don’t get to throw tantrums, Ntando. You don’t get to act up every time things don’t go your way. Whether it’s in your marriage or in the family. So, the next time you and Sbu have a minor misunderstanding, don’t waste my time calling for my help. Because I’m trying to help you and you’re being a child.” He says this so calmly. I just shrug, still not looking at him. We get to the airport after what feels like a lifetime. Bab’omncane helps me get my stuff out of the boot before he gets back into his car and drives off. He doesn’t wait to see if I’m safe or anything like that. He doesn’t care. I’m not his child. I’m actually not a part of this family anymore. I am Ntandokazi Ngubane. Not Mnguni and definitely not Zwane and it’s time I came to terms with that.

*****

“I’m so happy that you’re back, Ndlovukazi.” Thandeka says as she helps me unpack. When I arrived at the palace, nobody was home except the staff.

“What has been going on in my absence?” I ask her while I change into one of my more queenly outfits. A figure-hugging, knee-length green dress with puffy sheer sleeves.

“Oh, Sbu and Lineo haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye. The people here don’t understand Lineo and she doesn’t understand them either.” Thandeka says.

“Oh, I know it’s not the help calling me by name.” Lineo says. Why does she keep doing that?

“You’re really going to have to stop barging into my room.” I say. I notice she’s wearing sweat pants and a hoodie, that’s different.

“Where are you going all dressed up?” she asks and I don’t respond. “Well, I heard you were back.”

“Lineo, you and I are not friends. We never will be. Stop trying to make conversation. Get out of my room.” I say and she folds her arms in an act of defiance. Once Thandeka is done with my bags, I ask her to get one of the drivers ready for me.

“I don’t know how you do it. Running a kingdom. I struggled.” Lineo says eventually.

“I was only gone for a week.” I roll my eyes.

“I’m trying to compliment you, there’s no need to be rude.” She says before storming out. What was that? Anyway. I make my way out to the car and ask the driver to take me to the office. I assume that’s where Sbu could be, I really need to speak to him. I get a warm welcome from the office staff as I walk in, they bow down even though I’ve asked them not to.

“Happy belated birthday, Ndlovukazi.” One of the security guards says as I walk in.

“Thank you. I hope you guys had lots of fun yesterday.” I say and they proceed to excitedly share their experiences from my birthday celebration. The conversation lasts for a little while before I walk in. What can I say, I’m my people’s person. I knock once on Sbu’s office door before walking in. Kayise immediately runs to me and gives me a hug.

“Hau Ndlovukazi. Sthandwa sam. Wamuhle.” Sbu says as he gets up from his desk. “Did you get all dressed up for me?”

“Do you like it?” I ask, doing a mini twirl.

“I love it.” He takes hold of my waist and kisses my forehead. “I love you.”

I free myself from his grip and take a seat, he does the same and Kayise goes back to her toys.

“I’m not going back to Jo’burg.” I say and his eyes widen.

“What about your auditions… and school?” he asks.

“I changed my mind. I want to focus on my marriage and my daughter and taking this kingdom to greater heights.” I lie so easily. Obviously, I won’t tell Sbu that I fought with my family because my stepmother didn’t buy me a car. He takes my hands.

“Thank you. You have no idea how happy I am right now. How relieved… I thought you were going to divorce me.” He says. I really should have by now, if I’m honest. I should’ve have had him arrested. But I keep coming back and I keep forgiving and pretending that all is well and I don’t know why I do it. But I’m here now and there’s no way I’m going back home after last night.

“Sibusiso, do you see how I keep choosing you? How you hurt me and I still choose you? I’m going to need you to start choosing me.” I say.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ll only stay in this marriage on condition that you get rid of Lineo and you forget all about this royal wife nonsense.” I say as boldly as I can manage. I don’t have a plan, seriously. I know he could just go buck on me and tell me he’s the King and he answers to no-one. All I have is my faith right now. He doesn’t say anything.

“I left for a week and my absence was felt across the entire kingdom. Lineo is not your Queen. Your people, the people who you serve, do not approve of Lineo as their Queen. And it’s not because she’s bad at it, just that she’s not as good as I am. If your subjects won’t settle, why would you?” I raise my eyebrow. He sits with his head in his hands. “You have 24 hours to make a decision. I’ll see you at home.” And with that, I walk out of the office with Kayise. I feel triumphant even though I don’t know what Sbu’s decision will be. I get into the car and head back to the palace.

I cooked dinner tonight. I made rice, chicken, pork and three salads. I almost trip over my own feet when I see Busi and Muzi at the table while I set up. They are the first ones there.

“Oh hey.” I say.

“You cooked? And you’re all dressed up?” Muzi asks.

“Probably has to do with why Sbu called this an important family dinner.” Busi says.

“Oh he did? I had no idea. I hope you guys are hungry, I went all out.” I say as I take my seat. Soon the rest of the family starts to file in and Thokozani gives me a deadly glare before she takes a seat next to Busi. Lineo sits on the opposite side of the table from where I’m sitting, that way Sbu is sitting in between both of us. Sbu is the last one to join us and as soon as he is ready, Thandeka starts dishing up for everyone.

“Oh, kaMalandela, did your career end already?” Sbu’s mom asks. I won’t dignify that with a response.

“Ma, ima kancane.” Sbu says. “I called everyone here because I have an announcement to make.”

“Oh sifile ama announcement, Jesu.” His mom says. This woman is another one who pretended to like me.

“Ma, please.” Sbu raises his hand to shush her. “We all know that yesterday was our beautiful Queen’s birthday and I think I’ve got the perfect gift for her. I have decided to call off my second wedding.” He says and a triumphant smile creeps onto my face.

“Excuse me?” Lineo says. The table has gone silent, everyone has stopped eating. Everyone but Thokozani.

“There will be no second wife. Tomorrow, I will arrange for your belongings to be packed and for you to be taken back home.” Sbu says before casually returning to his dinner.

“Sibusiso! You need a royal wife.” His mom says.

“I don’t. And as your King, I would suggest that you stop questioning my decisions. Ntandokazi is the only Queen we need and I expect you to respect her as such.” He says and Lineo gets up from the table. Hmm, happy birthday to me.

“Sibusiso Ngubane, Emabomvini’s most unpredictable King.” His dad says. Sbu chose me. For the first time in a long time, Sbu actually chose me. My gamble obviously paid off.

*****

I’m helping Thandeka clear the table when Thokozani gets in my face.

“You think you’ve won.” She says and I look at Thandeka, indicating that she should give us space.

“Thokozani, stop it.” I say.

“You’re weak. And you’re gullible. And naïve. You are dangerously close to being stupid.” She says.

“You’re being disrespectful.” I say.

“Oh, I apologise my Queen. But you and I both know that just because he broke it off with Lineo doesn’t mean he won’t hit you again.”

“I don’t expect you to understand. I did what I had to do for myself and my daughter. You can judge me all the way to the moon, but it’s done.” I say before taking the dishes to the kitchen. Of all the people in this house who had to see me at my lowest, it had to be Thokozani. The most hard-headed member of this family. But I meant it. I am not moved by her judgement. I have to prove to Mamkhulu that I don’t need her and her money. I have my own kingdom. My own husband. My own luxury cars. I don’t need her. I don’t need all of them.